


you were to me

by ameeeeethyst



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Chemistry pun, Confessions, Fluff, KuroKen - Freeform, M/M, Mentions of Hinata Shouyou - Freeform, Not Beta Read, Platonic Relationship, Realization, Slight Atsuhina, University Student! Kenma Kozume, Vocalist! Kuroo Tetsurou, band au, kenma who has a crush on kuroo, lots of mutual pining, mentions of miya atsumu - Freeform, more mutual pining, oblivious Kuroo, singer/fan au, sort of fluffy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:08:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24915127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ameeeeethyst/pseuds/ameeeeethyst
Summary: Kenma treats himself as an average fan who apparently likes Kuroo’s voice, a vocalist of a  band. Meeting along after a coincidece, and forming a friendship with their piled-up choices, Kenma tries to figure out the feelings that the vocalist had brought him.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 5
Kudos: 97
Collections: Kenma Ship Week 2020





	you were to me

**Author's Note:**

> for [ten](https://twitter.com/clearsoten)
> 
> Kenma Ship Week 2020: Day Two: Celebrity.

Kenma had always hated crowds, but who can even complain when being dragged by a literal sunshine who was excited to see his crush. Especially if it's Hinata, who had a tight grip on his hands while rushing through the sea of crowd. Definitely not him. Sometimes, he can't help but wonder how and where on Earth does the sunshine gets so much energy, because Kenma felt too exhausted being surrounded by strangers even if the night just started. The venue wasn’t even that big, yet he felt so suffocated with all these people who wanted to see the band live.

A sigh escaped his lips, but Hinata was too excited to even notice. He was already vibrating all this energy when he brought his friend at the very front from the stage. It was somewhere they can see the performers in a short distance, and Kenma wasn't too enthusiastic because of that.

He just can't resist it when it's Hinata who's asking for help. It just happened that the band that they're about to watch is Kenma's favorite, and it just also happened that Hinata's crush, Miya Atsumu, is the band's lead guitarist. If Kenma was just another stereotypical fan, he could have used this simple connection to meet or even befriend the band, but of course, he's different.

Despite being a fan of the band, Kenma wasn't here with his own will. He would rather watch a recorded video, or maybe just listen to their album on repeat all day long.

'It's literally just the same sound,' he thought. ‘Why effort on watching live performances and gigs like these, when you can just chill at home and listen with your comfort? It takes too much energy.' He would've played his games, or maybe stream on his YouTube channel, which he just started. He grunted, deciding not to complain more even if he already wants to go home. Nevertheless, there he was, pulled along to accompany Shouyo to watch his crush, who was apparently part of Kenma's favorite band.

Hinata let go of his grip on his friend's hand, almost at the same time when the lights went off. A sign that the performance was about to start.

For a moment, Kenma contemplated running and leaving, but looking at his friend with too much excitement on his face, he felt defeated. He just can't leave him without feeling guilty. He puffed a breath out, burying his cold hands down to the pockets of his sweatshirt.

He was about to pull his phone out to distract himself but stopped midway when the crowd cheered on the silhouette of people walking on stage. In a matter of seconds, a voice that he recognized made the people sing along just as when the man started to sing.

_"I don't wanna smoke. I don't need a drink._

_Just tell me how you feel, tell me what you think."_

Red lights shined at their background, illuminating the whole stage. It showed off the silhouettes of the members of the band, Yugen. Akaashi Keiji was chilling at the back with his drums, Bokuto Koutarou and Miya Atsumu on the sidelines with their bass and electric guitar on their hand, who started to play at the same time, and at the very middle of the stage, Kuroo Tetsurou stood, his eyes closed with two hands cupped on his mic, sang.

_"Cause I've been on my own, for a fuckin' while._

_And I don't need a girl, I just wanna smile."_

Kenma's heart skipped a beat when the vocalist opened his eyes and it met his. Kuroo’s orbs glinted enjoyment, and he took Kenma's breath away in an instant. He had seen videos of him performing at the past, but seeing him in flesh, Kenma didn’t know how to feel.

Kuroo stood there, head high up, and a smile on his lips while muttering the lyrics to the song that Kenma had heard multiple times before. He stood there, proud and full of passion, and Kenma had to check if his mouth’s gaping in awe of his voice. ‘He looked ethereal,’ he thought to himself.

He knows for a fact that he’s just probably another fan crushing on him, but he can’t help himself from being attracted. It was almost pathetic, as it was another reason why he doesn't like watching live performances because he knows that he'll just be attracted to him even more. He bit his lips and buried his hands inside his pocket even more because of the sudden breeze of air passing through him.

_"Talk is overrated, let's just vibe._

_And love is overrated in my mind."_

Kenma took that time to observe him and enjoy the sound of his voice just like a normal fan would do. He loves their music. He loves his voice. It's not like he wanted something to change, and it’s not like he had the control for anything to change at all. The thought made him chuckle to himself. ‘Wow. Being sentimental, aren’t we?’

He smiled, for the first time that night, as he lifted his gaze. He was well aware of the people around him, the way that the crowd stopped singing when the man on stage paused.

Kuroo pulled the microphone off its stand and formed a charismatic smile on his lips. He looked around for a few seconds, then fixated his gaze on a certain person on the crowd.

Kenma met his eyes.

_"I'll be yours if you want me to."_

Almost an hour later, Kenma found himself following Hinata whose energy wasn't even fazed. He jumped around and kept telling his friend how the show made him feel "woosh" and "uwaaaaaah”. Whatever those are, Kenma wasn’t so sure. He only stopped when he received a message, that gave him an even wider smile and a pinkish tint on his cheeks.

"Kenma," Hinata called, a pout residing on his lips. "Atsumu kun just messaged me. He invited me to go backstage. Do you wanna go? Or you'll just stay here and wait for me? But if you stay I'll feel guilty about leaving you, and if you go, I'll feel guilty about forcing you. But I wanna see—"

"Shouyo." Kenma cut him off. "You can go. No worries."

With a swift embrace and quick reminders, Shouyo ran towards the backstage to meet Atsumu and left Kenma alone. He went to the restroom and did what he was supposed to do.

The sound of running water filled the restroom when Kenma opened the faucet. He let his hands feel the cold water that flowed through him as he stared at his reflection. Strands of hair rested on his cheeks, and he was sure that his hair looked like a mess.

‘I wanna go home,’ he thought and sighed to himself. He heard the door opening and shutting behind him, but he was too tired to even care. He pulled the hood of his sweatshirt up to his head to hide his head and turned to the door, only to bump onto someone’s chest, probably the person who went inside.

“Sorry,” he muttered, his head looking away. He rushed through the door and hoped to get away from his embarrassment. He reached for the doorknob and tried to open the door, yet it didn’t move a bit. 

He tried to turn to the male he bumped onto, to ask for help, but he was still doing his ‘stuff.’ He grunted in irritation as he tried to pull or even push the door open, but the door didn’t even move a bit.

“Hey,” Kenma called, who had no choice to seek help, on the male who was washing his hands. “The doorknob won’t budge.”

Kenma raised his gaze to meet the man’s eyes. His heart pounded loudly against his chest, eyes widening with the sight of Kuroo Tetsurou, who looked back at him with the same bewildered eyes. His disheveled raven hair seemed to be even messier than earlier.

“Uhh, what?” Kuroo asked, breaking Kenma’s mind who went to trance. Kenma gestured the doorknob, and the man rushed beside him to see what happened. “Okay, let me see.” He turned the knob and attempted to pull the door open, but nothing happened.

Kenma watched him do more tries to open the door, and even ask for help from the outside, but the way that there’s loud music playing, he was sure that not even a single person would hear them. He sighed, making his way to the sink and sat on the tiled surface.

Kuroo groaned in frustration, “It’s probably broken—” He muttered and looked at Kenma. “—Wait, why are you sitting there?”

“Too much effort,” he mumbled. He pulled out his phone, and texted Hinata for help, while Kuroo was just staring at him with disbelief. “What?” Kenma looked up, his face was uninterested. and met his gaze, “You should call for help too.”

Kuroo tried to open his mouth as if trying to say something or maybe he wanted to complain, but he stopped himself and walked beside Kenma, who was typing on his phone. The taller lad leaned on the wall, pulled his phone out, and tried to ask help from his bandmates. He received a quick reply from Bokuto, which made him sigh in relief.

‘Wow. I got unlucky today,’ he thought to himself. He looked at the mirror and ran his fingers down on his hair, not generally minding the smaller male who sat on the sink. Well, not until the male sneezed like a cat and the hood of his sweatshirt fell from his head and revealed a face that he saw on the show earlier.

His face was round, hidden behind his shoulder-length hair which rested on his shoulders. His cat-like eyes were golden, just like the ends of his two-toned hair.

‘And he’s really pretty, too,’ his mind added, in which he can agree.

The male glared at him, a pinkish tint visible on his cheeks, probably because of his adorable cat sneeze. “What?” he snarled in a low voice.

Kuroo realized that he might have been staring too long, so he averted back his gaze to his reflection. “You were there at our performance,” he suddenly said, and then looked back at the male to admire him in his mind even more. “I’ll assume that you’re a fan since you were there at the very front.”

Kenma narrowed his eyes on him and held back himself from rolling his eyes as a defense mechanism. “I’m just there because of a friend,” he replied and brought his focus back on his phone. ‘Why is he talking to me?’ Kenma asked himself.

“My name’s Kuroo Tetsurou,” he said with a smile, but Kenma didn’t give him the attention that he wants. 

“I know your name,” he mumbles, scrolling back and forth from the worrying messages that Hinata continuously sent him.

“So,” Kuroo paused, moving an inch closer to him, “ you’re really my fan?”

“You’re famous, that’s why I know it,” Kenma said, his interest barely visible from his voice, “and I’m not your fan.”

Kuroo planted a smug grin on his face. “You are.”

“Am not.”

“You are.”

“Am not.”

“You are.”

“Am not,” Kenma grunted, and glared at him. “I just like your band’s music.” He lied because he knows that this man is the reason why he listens to the band. It was because of his damned sexy voice. “And why are you talking to me?”

Kuroo smiled knowingly, “Didn’t know that kitten got claws.”

Kenma put his phone down, as his eyes landed on the male. “I can scratch you whenever I want,” he said in a monotone.

Seconds passed through them, eyes stared at each other. Kenma observed his features in a distance that he never knew would happen. His eyes roamed from his sharp jawline, observed the shape of his face, then onto his feline hazel orbs that glinted with interest as he looked back at him. And on his lips, where a smirk suddenly appeared.

“Oho? Are you hitting on me?” Kuroo muttered in a teasing voice.

He looked at him with disbelief, “What? No way.”

Kuroo let out a cackle, which sounded more like a hyena laughing, and Kenma had quickly questioned himself on why he had a crush on this man. He definitely has his looks and his voice, but who would have thought that this man can laugh like that. He snorted, which made Kuroo stop and look at him.

“Can I have your number?”

Kenma was about to reply when the door slammed open, and a ball of sunshine burst through the door and embraced him, mumbling how worried he was and how unlucky it is to be locked inside a cursed bathroom. Kenma noticed a few people coming in to check, specifically Miya Atsumu, but he was too engrossed on calming Hinata to even care.

When he finally pulled away from the embrace, Hinata noticed the male standing beside Kenma.

His eyes widened in recognition. “Kuroo san!” he said, half yelling, and then pulled Kenma behind him. “You didn’t do anything to my friend here, did you?!” he accused.

“You’ve got a pretty friend right there, but no. I’m not that type of guy, chibi-chan,” Kuroo said with a smile.

Hinata glared as a response and decided to pull his friend outside the restroom, but he stopped walking when Kenma didn’t move a bit. Instead, he turned around and faced Kuroo, who was left staring at him. Apparently, Atsumu sensed the situation and pulled Hinata outside who didn’t have the chance to ask questions.

Kenma puffed out a breath before talking. “Phone.”

“What?”

“Your phone,” he said again. “You were asking for my number, right?”

Kuroo looked at him in shock and pulled his phone out his pocket as fast as he can that it almost fell. Kenma snorted before putting his contact in it when he was handed off the phone. He smiled at him, turned his back away from the male, and started to walk towards the door until he heard Kuroo say something.

“Kenma,” he called, stopping Kenma on his tracks. “I like your name.”

\---

From: Unknown Number

~ You’re really pretty when you smile. You should do it more often.

To: Kuro

~ if i had the reason to, i would.

From: Kuro

~ Would I fit in the criteria for being one of your reasons to smile?

To: Kuro

~ i’ll think about it.

\---

Everything felt surreal after that, just as how the switch of their non-existent relationship went on a boost in just a single interaction. Since then, they both have been talking on the phone, met each other from time to time, only to banter and tease each other. At some moment, Kuroo would come to Kenma’s apartment to either hang out or help Kenma on his university’s homework and projects. Kenma learned more and more things about him and his personality.

First is that, despite Kuroo’s looks, he’s apparently a huge nerd, specifically on Chemistry, which meant puns for Kenma to suffer all the time.

“Are you made of Copper and Tellurium?” Kuroo asked on the other line. He was on tour with his bandmates, in the middle of the night when he called and Kenma was up, who just finished playing a game.

“Kuro, what are you saying?” Kenma scrunched up his nose as he buried himself under his comfortable blankets.

“Because you are CuTe.”

Kenma almost threw his phone away.

Second, is that his hair wasn’t actually styled at all. There was that one time when Kuroo slept at Kenma’s apartment because of the sudden pouring of rain. The next morning, two pillows sandwiched his head, resulting in a bedhead and Kenma’s neck pain since Kuroo hogged his pillow.

And yes, they slept on the same bed. Just like the friends that they are.

‘It was platonic,’ they both said when someone asked them why they did.

Kenma had always admired Kuroo, even before their first meeting. It started when he randomly heard his band’s first song on Hinata’s phone, He decided to support their band online, streaming their music on an app until he sees a picture of the band. He immediately caught his eye, but who would’ve thought that they’ll be friends?

Definitely not Kenma.

“I really like your voice,” Kenma mumbled and snuggled on Kuroo’s chest, who seemed to be as comfortable as he was.

“I would appreciate it if you liked me better than my voice,” he replied, half asleep.

‘We’re best friends,’ they both thought, not minding the not so subtle hints they both dropped.

After spending more time with him, he can feel his feelings grow even more into much deeper than attraction. He paid him more attention, made efforts just to see him, to hear his voice, to watch him perform on stage that he won’t usually do in the past. It was a hassle, but Kenma likes that feeling when he can stop the butterflies inside his stomach, that tingling sensation in his heart whenever he sees his smile.

The problem is Kenma did not know if Kuroo likes him back. Looking back from all of their interactions, Kuroo pretty much treats him differently. He would always be the first person to hear the songs that he writes. He would be the first one that Kuroo would ask if he needed something. He would be the one that sees Kuroo when he’s vulnerable. Kuroo took care of him when he was sick. Kuroo would watch over him a lot even when he’s away.

They fit each other perfectly, just like two different pieces who can function on their own. but works better when they have each other. Kuroo brings that comfort to Kenma, and he thought that it was normal. It was satisfying, having him within his life.

They’re close friends, after all.

Kuroo’s band continued to rise and started to get known more which meant a busier schedule for him, and lesser time for them to spent time with each other like they used to.

“Ken,” Kuroo said in between of his heavy breathing, “Sorry. I was- there was an emergency. I got-” he stopped, tried to catch his breath before talking again. “I’m sorry.” He looked at Kenma, guilt written all over his face.

“It’s fine. It’s not like I waited here for hours.” Kenma said and looked up from his game on hand. “I have a class in a few minutes.” He stood up and was about to walk away when Kuroo held his hand and stopped him.

“I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

He looked at him, and said “Okay.” He turned his back from Kuroo whose expression was new to him. He seemed hurt and confused as if he didn’t know if he should follow him or just stay and watch him walk away.

Kenma almost wanted to hit himself, because since then, the small amount of time they have together became even lesser. Kuroo was too busy to call, being on tour with his band, and Kenma focused on starting his YouTube career along with his studies.

‘It was fine,’ he said to himself.

‘It wasn’t.’ his heart replied.

\---

From: Shouyo

~ KENMAAA!!!! DID YOU ALREADY HEAR THEIR NEW SONG?!!  
~ IT’S SO AWESOMEEEE!!!!! YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO IT.

To: Shouyo

~ i already did.

From: Shouyo

~ Atsumu kun and Bokuto san and even Akaashi san said that it’s written for you!!!!!! THAT’S SO COOL KENMA!!!! SBHGDHJSH”

To: Shouyo

~ why would you think that?

From: Shouyo

~ You and Kuroo san are dating, right?!!!”

\---

Kenma didn’t know what to think, since then. Kuroo, writing a song for him? It seemed impossible. And how could Hinata think that they’re dating?

‘But what if..?’ he thought, only to shake up his head to clear his mind. ‘There’s just no way.’

Kenma continued his life, not so hard thinking about him, and his voice that he hadn’t heard talking to him for almost a long time. And then one chilly night, the stars were barely visible in the sky as he dropped himself on his bed, his phone rang.

He waited for it to ring for a few seconds before he answered. “Kuro.”

_“_ _Driving down the interstate_ _._ _  
_ _I've never felt so far away_ _.”_

Kenma needed to hold his breath when he sang on the other end of the line. He sighed as he closed his eyes, and let the male serenade him with the voice that Kenma used to admire from afar.

 __  
_“_ _Leaving hardly hurts at all_ _._ _  
_ _I'm sorry that I never call_ _.”_

If he had the chance, he would choose to be selfish, but that’s impossible. He had always forced himself to be satisfied, but would it be bad if he longed to be with Kuroo? Would it be selfish if he wanted to hear his voice on moments that a normal fan would never have?

_“You heard me sing last week,_

_I was hoping you might ask,”_

“Is this one about me?” Kenma asked mindlessly.

Kuroo stopped singing and sighed. “Yeah,” he breathed out. “Look, Kenma, I was a dumbass to just realized this. I’m all faraway from you and I-”

“Kur—”

He cuts him off and talked. “No, Ken. Is it alright if I go first? I have been practicing this since last night.” Kenma heard him puffed out his breath. “I like it when you smile, and every time we talk, my brain would release serotonin-”

“Kuroo,” he called again.

“Listen, this isn’t easy for me. I’ve never done this before and,” Kuroo grunts on the other side of the phone. “Sorry, I practiced this all last night-”

“Kuroo Tetsurou,” he called that made the male stop from his blabbering. “I missed you too.”

Kuroo, on the other line, felt like his brain malfunctioned for a moment. “Uhh, what?”

“I feel the same way.” Kenma closed his eyes and snuggled to his blankets for heat. ‘Maybe I could be selfish just this time?’ he said to himself.

He heard a few unintelligible noises before he finally replied, “Kenma. Can I come over right now?”

“You’re on tour, Kuro.”

“I need to kiss you and hug you and,” he said and sighed, “damn. I wish I’m with you right now.”

Kenma laughed as if the burden on his lungs got unloaded in a whim, but then a yawn escaped his lips, which led to Kuroo forcing him to sleep.

“Good night Kenma,” Kuroo muttered, who smiled softly even though Kenma can’t see his face. “I’m all yours now.”

The next morning, he woke up with a smile on his face.

\---

Kenma still hates crowds, but despite that he chose to watch along with Hinata who vibrated the same old high energy that he had. And this time, it was Kenma who dragged him.

Red lights illuminated the background of the stage, and the same silhouette that Kenma watched for the first time, a few years ago stood proudly on it. With all these people watching Kuroo and his band, Kenma couldn’t help it but feel proud. That man right there is his, the man he loves, who was being watched and admired with thousands of people in this huge venue that they’re in compared to the first time he saw him.

Kenma heard his familiar voice as the crowd went wild. He smiled, satisfaction brimming through him. Kuroo chose to love him, as his best friend, and as his boyfriend, and as his fan.

‘I’m still his fan,’ he thought to himself. Kuroo’s number one fan, if he wanted to be specific.

**Author's Note:**

> hi! thanks for reading! kudos and comments are highly appreciated.
> 
> hype me up or tell me your thoughts on [my twitter!](https://twitter.com/faeryzen) i'd love to interact with you <33


End file.
